The first step to being authentic - realizing when you're mimicking
A couple of weeks ago when I was getting advice from someone about negotiating, he said "remember to be authentic". The phrase stuck with me, but I didn't think about it in much depth. It came back to me today in another context. It helped that I was vacation for a week, so I was looking at work (and how I work) with fresh-ish eyes. In a meeting today, I found myself suddenly stepping back and looking at my behavior. I wasn't acting like I was when I ran meetings a couple of years ago, but it was suspiciously like someone I used to work with a year ago. Earlier in the day, I was having a slightly tense discussion with someone and I found my tone suddenly sharp, hesitating on my words to use and being suddenly passive aggressive - something uncharacteristic to me - and so immediately also unpleasant for me. I realized I was simply matching the tone of the person I was having a discussion with. In both cases I was mimicking - copying behaviors I'd