Reminder: managing how people around you can change you

I did something super-uncharacteristic in a meeting today, and felt both bad and stupid right after.

It felt very unlike me to do it, but I knew exactly why.....Some people are more easily influenced by styles/personalities/mannerisms of others. I've suspected for quite a while that I'm one of those people. :) I tend to pick up good habits/mannerisms/styles from people, but I realize the flip is true as well.

So what's a person to do? Here's what I think:
  • Step 1: awareness is key: watch out always, always, always for what you're doing. Examine your life and actions continuously. I've been able to do this once-in-a-while, but have never been able to keep this "always-on"
  • Step 2: have a strong sense of the kind of person you want to be: in your personal and professional life. An easy way to get there is to have role-models; multiple role-models or even more granular (e.g. a programming role-model, analysis role-model, meeting role-model, a presentation role-model etc.)
  • Step 3: Watch how far your desired and your actuals are, and slowly, surely, deliberately move towards the desired.
  • Bonus Step 4: Ties into Step 2. Stay very aware of how people around you do things, and borrow-and-learn as much as you can. If possible, increase your interactions so you have more role-models.

Its definitely much, much easier said than done, but the I think the goal should be to work through the 4 stages of competence to do this stuff almost automatically eventually.


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