Skip to main content

Reminder: managing how people around you can change you

I did something super-uncharacteristic in a meeting today, and felt both bad and stupid right after.

It felt very unlike me to do it, but I knew exactly why.....Some people are more easily influenced by styles/personalities/mannerisms of others. I've suspected for quite a while that I'm one of those people. :) I tend to pick up good habits/mannerisms/styles from people, but I realize the flip is true as well.

So what's a person to do? Here's what I think:
  • Step 1: awareness is key: watch out always, always, always for what you're doing. Examine your life and actions continuously. I've been able to do this once-in-a-while, but have never been able to keep this "always-on"
  • Step 2: have a strong sense of the kind of person you want to be: in your personal and professional life. An easy way to get there is to have role-models; multiple role-models or even more granular (e.g. a programming role-model, analysis role-model, meeting role-model, a presentation role-model etc.)
  • Step 3: Watch how far your desired and your actuals are, and slowly, surely, deliberately move towards the desired.
  • Bonus Step 4: Ties into Step 2. Stay very aware of how people around you do things, and borrow-and-learn as much as you can. If possible, increase your interactions so you have more role-models.

Its definitely much, much easier said than done, but the I think the goal should be to work through the 4 stages of competence to do this stuff almost automatically eventually.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Everyone's struggle is real... at the very least to them

A couple of weeks ago, while in line waiting to pick up some food I'd just ordered, I overheard two conversations - I don't make a habit of this, but it's hard to not hear things when you leave your phone behind. :-/
My first reactions as I heard both of these conversations was annoyance at the protagonist in one and admiration for the other. Both conversations stayed with me for a while, but it took me some time to realize that was unfair on my part to be annoyed at the person that I was annoyed at.

So about these conversations:
The first was between someone working there and a friend. She was sympathizing with her friend who'd be starting a new job leaving this place. "Oh, it's minimum wage again?", she said with concern in her voice. "Yes, but it's fine", said her friend. The job was closer to where she lived so she thought she'd make about the same and she might get home a little earlier to her daughter some evenings though the hours…

Yup - humans still lack humanity

Every once in a while, I'm reminded that humans can be completely lacking in humanity.

My wife had the following experience yesterday on her ride back home. She got on the train and found a seat. The train was unusually crowded and it looked a lot of people had to stand for a long ride. An elderly Asian gentleman carrying a few things in both hands, was looking for spot, started to complain smilingly about the train being so full and stood in the aisle at the back of the carriage some seats away from her.

She expected someone closer to gentleman in the aisle (lots of younger people on the train) to give him their seat.

No one did.

The train started, and it was clear the man was having a lot of trouble standing up. Then at the next stop there was actually an announcement saying the train was full so please give up your seats to people who needed them.

Still nobody moved.

My wife got up walked to the end of the train and asked the gentleman to go over to her seat. She still couldn&#…

Whimsy when I changed my profile picture...

I changed by profile picture at work.



Later in the day, two people on my team had changed their profile pictures to these.. :-)



It made my day!

I changed my profile pic again today. Let's see how fast anyone catches on this time. :-)