No regrets = not possible... and Fathers Day

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This started out as a very different post on Father's Day that I couldn't actually finish... but here goes a more rambling one that  I think I can. :-)

  • Father's Day: Last Sunday was Father's Day. I never remember celebrating Father's Day - I may have wished my Dad once, because we were on the phone and my mom told me there were TV ads for Father's Day running. But this was the first one, where as I heard the ads and marketing, I was reminded that I couldn't wish my father even if I wanted to - and I regretted all the times I felt I could or should have.

    As is often my (annoying) habit, I started thinking about what this meant and why the right thing to do is to live life in a way that there are no such regrets, but that's just not possible, is it?
  • No regrets: is not possible. We're conditioned to make satisificing decisions, and even with perfect information and rational decisions and incredible decision-making discipline, chance/luck etc. will mean we'll likely always regret some things. The goal therefore is to minimize regrets.
     
    • Understand what is truly important to you, and try not to neglect that
    • When you do understand why you feel regret, recognize and fix it.
    • The best piece on this is this one: most people regret the same things. 
      • not following their passion
      • neglecting family for work
      • not expressing their feelings
      • not staying in touch with friends
      • letting themselves be happy.
    • If we know this, why do we not have the discipline to live with less regret?
       
  • Finally, dignity and pride: Internets sharing below had me watching this video earlier today:

           This was exactly how I felt with my father. The separation of pride and dignity with righteousness is a good thing to keep in mind.






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